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January 27 MS presents challenge for moms
Quote MS presents challenge for momsMom Pam Lahoda, 47, enjoyed being single too much to settle down in her 20s and 30s — career, travel, a busy social life. Her decision to wait means she's chasing two preschoolers around her Holland home as pals send kids off to college.
Tough? Oh, a little, but the true test of her free spirit has been juggling not just motherhood but multiple sclerosis. The autoimmune disease presented itself when she finished nursing her younger child, now 3. A numbness settled into her back. There was trouble walking, a worrisome weakness.
MS sometimes is invisible, often unpredictable. Neurological symptoms vary widely — fatigue, odd sensations, pain, blurred vision. It's different for everyone and hard to diagnose. A battery of tests finally confirmed the scary news for Pam.
As we spoke in her sunny kitchen, she touched a rose quartz bracelet on her slim wrist. A gift from a friend, rose quartz is said to aid emotional well-being.
Pam credits terrific support from her husband (he administers her weekly injections of MS-fighting drugs) and the care of friends, family and a tag team of helpers from St. Bede's Catholic parish for seeing her through.
Still, only another mom with MS can understand what it feels like to be unable to brush a daughter's hair into a ponytail, to play trucks on the floor, to some days lack the strength to dress and lift the little ones who count on you.
It's true, said Ruth Farber, associate professor in the Department of Occupational Therapy at Temple University's College of Health Professions. She's studying mothers with MS to learn more about how they cope.
Her research examines the interrelationship of social support, well-being, health and mothers' participation in their roles when dealing with MS.
"There is a great deal of biomedical research on MS, but relatively little is empirically known on how mothers with MS are feeling and doing. The preliminary results suggest the importance of social support. ... Social support of family and friends can include providing tangible support, understanding, affection or people to have a good time with. Social support can contribute to the mother's well-being, which in turn to can further her connection to others."
If you are a mother with MS (with at least one child under 12) and you're interested in participating in this study, contact Farber at 215-707-4880 or msmoms@temple.edu.
Pam sought out other MS moms. A support group will meet at 3 p.m. the third Saturday of every month beginning next month at the YMCA in Fairless Hills. Kids are welcome. For more information, call Mechelle Connors at 215-870-2221.
Mechelle, 38, of Langhorne, was diagnosed 10 years ago. She explains, "An MS mom is different. You just don't have the same mindset as others."
She hopes the new group will talk about parenting — for instance, how much do you disclose to your child about MS? — and share ideas for coping. There should be lots of those.
Farber says MS moms can be especially creative when it comes to being there for their kids. Heat, for example, can exacerbate MS symptoms. She knows of a mom who watches baseball games wearing an ice vest to stay cool; others who cheer from an air-conditioned car using a bullhorn.
Sure, MS moms are different, but not so different where it counts.
Kate Fratti, whose column appears on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, admires Pam's advice to others' dealing with challenge: "You deal better when you deal head- January 25 Manatees...Memories...
Howling at the MoonHowling at the MoonMy thoughtsthey call to youOer the waves of timeon oceans tideyour cries wash over meRip Tide pulls me undermy mind now in reviewall that I wasnow all that I amthe hope of you rings truelived on the wavesthis heart a mazethrough disasterconfusionand painYou gave me the rightto rule the dark nightsthe north star with its light to guideon yonder shoreI see you nowmy heart and mind renewedthe grasp of your handnow unravels the planschaos ends in a flashthus before you I standthe fullfillment of planI howl at the moon no morewritten by Lisa Smith©2007January 23 Knitting Comes Full CircleMonday, January 22, 2007 Popular knitting sites and blogs:
www.yarnharolot.com: Yarn Harlot, Stephanie Pearl-McPhee, talks about knitting. Her personal stories are entertaining yet step-by-step intensive.
www.chicknits.com/rambles: The site features designs for clothes that mirror the 21st century comfortable modern woman. Chicknits is owned by Bonne Marie Burns of Chicago, who also hosts a blog within the site.
subwayknitter.com: Boston resident "Colleen" offers rants and raves about knitting in public, advice and free patterns suited to New Englanders facing wintery weather.
www.masondixonknitting.com: At Mason Dixon Knitting, two more traditional style middle-aged knitters, located on opposite sides of the country, share with one another their personal knitting stories. Staff Writer Anna Fiorentino can be contacted at 791-6330 or at:
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